Saying Goodbye

     It had been a few weeks since the Champions arrived at Kieran’s door. The young Corduran wondered whether or not his once neat and tidy home would ever be the same. Part of him wondered whether or not he wanted it to be. As much hidden stress as he’d suffered watching his spotless carpets become stained and trampled, at having his once structured world turned upside-down, he was afraid of the emptiness he’d feel when the Champions packed up and left. Not that he wouldn’t have plenty to do- he could hardly get any work done with so many people around. After all the bills for food and water came in, he couldn’t afford to miss any deadlines. He had far too good manners- and too much pride- to ask the Champions to help pay for their consumption. He suspected that they didn’t have much money, anyway.

     It was mid-afternoon on a brilliantly sunny day. Kieran sat in his office, doing the tedious job of searching for references. He looked at his watch.

     Three… Two… One…

     There was a knock at the door. Kieran grinned as Chieko came bursting into the room. The girl was clockwork.

     “Hi, Kieran! I brought you lemonade.”

     “Thank you very much.”

     “It’s so nice out. Why don’t you come outside with us? You can do that later.”

     “Miss Chi, you say that every day. When exactly is ‘later’?”

     “Oh, come on,” she pleaded. “We’re having fun. Look, you could even bring your work outside. It’s too nice a day to spend indoors.”

     “I’d have to take the entire office outside to do what I’m doing now, much as I’d like to go out.”

     “But…” Chieko looked crestfallen.

     “Oh, all right. I suppose a little while wouldn’t hurt.”

     “I knew you’d change your mind!” Chieko beamed triumphantly. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise that he’d agreed- they went through the same ritual each afternoon. Unbeknownst to the GelbFaust, Kieran started getting up one hour earlier every day in order to get enough work done that he could indulge her.

     The pair went downstairs and passed by Keisuke and Mina (glasses restored) on the sofa, laughing at some private joke. They stepped out into the sunshine. In the backyard, the rest of the Champions were gathered, basking in the sun. In the shade of one of the large trees that surrounded the property, Kat and Harata sat. The Clanless was talking animatedly about some subject or other. Kat listened, her face finally void of the cold detachment usually found there. In a sunny patch, Yukiiae sat brushing Ayame’s hair. The two were talking softly and laughing occasionally at the antics of Kinjal, who frolicked nearby.

     Takaeyama was pulling Blue up from where he sat on the grass. A week earlier, Kazuki and Chieko had shyly presented Blue with a gift- a wooden leg, carved from a fallen tree in the forest surrounding Kieran’s house.

     “I made it myself,” Kazuki said proudly.

     It had been Chieko’s idea. Unbeknownst to any of the others, she’d wept bitterly when Yukiiae had amputated Blue’s leg. After visiting him one afternoon, Chi decided that she wanted to do something for the Night’s Herald. She idolized Blue, and it pained her greatly that he had to suffer such a loss.

     Takaeyama had taken Blue’s rehabilitation into his own hands. He saw it as his penance. He’d repay all those days and night’s that Blue had spent trying to heal his soul by spending the passing days trying to heal the Night’s Herald’s body. To Takeyama’s intense surprise, Blue did not seem particularly bothered by the fact that he’d been crippled. The Night’s Herald accepted this, as he accepted all things.

     “Change is a mark of time,” he explained patiently to Takaeyama. “We cannot expect the world to always stay the same. This life doesn’t work that way. We must strive to accept the world of now, exactly as it is. And the world of now will pass as well.”

     “But- but don’t you feel sad… or angry? I would.”

     “It’s only a body, Takaeyama. A wound to the body can be healed or adjusted to in time. That the soul is intact is of far greater importance.”

     Takaeyama, now learning to listen to Blue, had understood that there was a lesson meant for him in that statement.

     Now, the two made slow rounds of the yard. The Night’s Herald stumbled frequently, but Takaeyama would steady him. Kieran watched the pair of them, wondering at the number of changes that had come over his brother. At times, Kieran felt that Takaeyama had become as much of a stranger to him as the other nine people in his house. He was deeply concerned for his brother.

     Kieran had decided to take Chieko’s advice and speak to Blue. He’d sent Takaeyama off on an errand, then snuck away to see the Night’s Herald. After Kieran had expressed his concerns, Blue said,

     “Perhaps it would be of some help if you could tell me a bit more about Takaeyama as you knew him. None of us have known him for very long, and he was already afflicted when we met.”

     Afflicted.

     Kieran described the brother that he’d known. The Takaeyama he’d grown up with was bright and hardworking, easygoing, quick with a laugh, and unfailingly optimistic. He’d been kind and compassionate, loved children, tutored the boys at his school. Keen and alert, he was a quick thinker who rarely missed anything going on around him. In short, nothing like the sullen, staring, vacant creature he’d become.

     Blue had listened silently, nodding every once in a while. When Kieran had finished, he said,

     “Takaeyama told me yesterday about the trouble in your family, and about Keita, who he seems to have loved quite desperately. He was forced from his job, and feels he’s lost all of his friends. These losses spanned over years. In that time, did he express concern or regret, any cries for help?”

     “No, not really. Of course he wanted things to be different, but he always believed that our parents and our sister would forgive and accept him. He felt that he would find new friends. He kept saying that he was sure that things would get better in the future. That was just the way he was.”

     Blue nodded, saying nothing.

     “Can you help him?”

     “I can, if he is willing… but his will be a long struggle, I’m afraid.”

     “What’s the matter with him?”

     “It’d be better for you to ask Yukiiae. She can explain it far better than I could.”

     “I will. Thank you for your time. I’ll trouble you no further.”

     As Kieran was leaving the room, he turned abruptly and asked,

     “What do the Night’s Herald have to say about… about people like Takaeyama?”

     “Nothing at all.”

     “But… don’t you think it’s, well, wrong?”

     “As with all things, wrong depends entirely on context.”

     “I don’t understand.”

     “If you were starving in the forest, would you kill and eat a rabbit?”

     “Yes…”

     “Would you kill and eat Kinjal?”

     “No!”

     “Why not?”

     “Yukiiae loves him. He’s her pet.”

     “He’s a rabbit,” Blue observed.

     “But-“

     “Right and wrong depend on context.”

     “I see your point, but this is entirely different.” There was a tone of frustration in Kieran’s voice.

     “In Takaeyama’s case, it could be argued that he has done both right and wrong. He caused anguish and suffering to his family, which is wrong. However, he loved and was loved in return, and this helped to forge the young man that you knew. It brought joy to his life, and the life of Keita, as well as pain. This is the case with many of our choices in life.”

     “I understand,” Kieran said softly as he turned and left the room.

     The sound of Kazuki’s voice broke Kieran’s reverie.

     “Chi! I found the ball!”

     “Great! Let’s play, Kieran.”

     As Chieko dragged him onto the lawn, Kieran made a mental note to be sure to talk to Yukiiae, and to never eat a rabbit again.

     They’ve all changed.

     Harata gazed out the second-story window down at the Nine Champions, who were gathered in the yard below. They’d be leaving in two days, and it seemed the group was trying to eke as much relaxation out of the time as they could. As he stood there, watching them from the bathroom window, he was struck by the change that had come over each and every one of them.

     His eyes fell on Ayame, seated on the grass. The sunlight gleamed off her violet hair as she tilted her head back in laughter. It seemed she grew more beautiful with each passing moment of peace. She was no longer skittish and cringing, no longer did she debase herself before the others. Little by little, she’d begun to speak her mind. She was proving to be witty and observant, with a sharp-tongued humor that Keisuke seemed to admire.

     Keisuke. He was seated with Ayame, a black-clad stain soaking up the sunlight. He spoke to her, and to Mina, with an easy, almost charming, grace. To the rest, he remained callous and cold. He continued to taunt Takaeyama, and had started to refer to Blue as “Stump”. Harata found the Commander’s friendship with Ayame bizarre. Much as he’d hoped Keisuke would grow to feel some warmth for the other Champions, he was troubled by the growing relationship. Perhaps it was jealousy, or his longstanding mistrust of the Angemal which made him feel that way.

     Harata’s eyes strayed to Mina, seated alone under a tree. She was reading a book, apparently intent on its contents. She’d been quieter since her brush with death, more content to observe than express. She’d grown far kinder to Yukiiae, who she’d always ignored in the past, and to Chieko, who’d visited her repeatedly in the guestroom. Despite this newer, kinder nature, there was still an inaccessibility to Mina. As though she held everyone at arm’s length, there was something in the innermost reaches of her soul that repelled those around her. Harata felt certain that all of Mina’s secrets would die with her. She would confide in no one, would hold no companion to her heart. He realized how little he knew her, and felt that he’d know little more by the end of their adventure.

     A bird took flight across the yard, released from the hands of Yukiiae, who sat alone with Kinjal. She’d regained most of her color, but little of her weight. The haunted look that Harata had noticed when they’d first met crept more often to her face. Rather than feeling triumphant that her efforts had saved the lives of two of the Champions, she seemed dispirited. He was sure that some of this came from disappointment in herself- she blamed herself for Blue. Yet Harata couldn’t help but wonder whether there was another underlying reason for her mood. Yukiiae, with her gentle nature, wouldn’t dream of burdening the others with her troubles. The Clanless just had to hope that whatever shadow had fallen over her would pass. 

     His gaze moved to the small group seated in the middle of the yard. Kieran, Chieko, Kat, and Kazuki were gathered in a circle, where the GelbFaust appeared to be trying to teach them to play a game. Harata believed that Chi had secretly suffered the most from the encounter with the HeadHunters. Though she still remained generally upbeat and cheerful, there was a new sense of responsibility around her. There was a new pensiveness as well. What Chieko had experienced during the battle and in the days afterward had shaken her happy-go-lucky world to its foundation. However, it seemed that she was doing her best to adapt to her new reality. She was a world of help- though occasionally a hindrance- to Kieran, and had appeared to have formed an attachment of sorts to Takaeyama. The Corduran brothers were quite fond of her. She doted on Blue and fussed over Mina. For the others, she did her best to raise spirits whenever possible.

     Kat fumbled over the motions of the game and turned to say something to Kazuki, who laughed his giant’s laugh. The frozen, marble woman had crumbled, revealing a warm and graceful lady, secure in herself and responsive to others. She showed a new respect for the lives and thoughts of the other Champions. Her warmth had given a different beauty to her perfect features, far richer than the cold loveliness of the past. Harata’s heart stirred whenever he watched her move around the house. They’d never discussed what happened that night in the forest. He could only hope that she understood the growing ache he held within, and his resolve- his need- to protect her, to shield her. He would guard her all the way back to Mianuus, where she would become a leader- one tempered with the knowledge that Clan does not beget a human heart.

     Kazuki laughed again. The jovial man had been to Harata a tireless helper. Like Ayame, the usually silent Pantagruel had begun to voice opinions and make suggestions. While not as intelligent as the other Champions, he possessed a grounded, almost primal wisdom. There were times when it seemed he thought of the others like the children he’d left behind in Kitaka’en, especially Chieko, with whom he’d always been friendly. Like the GelbFaust, he showed a great deal of affection for the other Champions. Now, they showed him more respect and less of the burdened tolerance they had in the past. He seemed to be coming into focus, growing more human in all of their minds, an equal, no longer an animal.

     Harata’s eyes finally picked out Blue and Takaeyama, lingering on the edge of the property, deep in discussion. The Corduran had, for the first time, seemed to have become fully aware of the people around him. Though there were still moments in which he appeared to belong to some far-away land, he would now carry on short conversations with most of the others. There was a fragility about him, despite the gentleness with which he behaved. The desperation which lay beneath his words and deeds was buried deep, but still apparent. He avoided Keisuke whenever possible, creeping like a dog with its tail between its legs. He shadowed Blue, determined to redeem himself.

     If Blue had changed, that change was simply physical. The Night’s Herald had returned to his simple existence of breathing in and out, without worry or desire. He now had something of a student in Takaeyama, who would even make attempts at meditation. There was a new tenderness in Blue’s treatment of the Corduran, a gentle warmth that had been lacking in days past. Harata was relieved by the Night’s Herald’s resilience, though he found it somewhat unfathomable.

     Yes, they’ve all changed. Have I?

     “I- I see. And it’ll never go away? It’ll always- always be… like this?”

     “I’m afraid so. As I said, the episodes with come and go.”

     “Should he even be going with you? Maybe he shouldn’t be doing this.”

     “We don’t have any choice, he has to go.”

     “And what about after that? What will become of him?”

     “I’m afraid he won’t be able to hold down a job again. It’d be best if he went back home, but under the circumstances… I could take him to the outpost where I live. The Decameron can look after him.”

     “Perhaps I could take him in.”

     “If you feel that you’d be alright…”

     “I’ll think about it. I just- I just need to let this sink in.”

     “I’m really sorry, Kieran. I understand how bad you feel right now. I wish I didn’t have to tell you all this.”

     “It’s better to know, I suppose. Thank you for your time, Miss Yukiiae. I’ll let you return to the rest of your friends.”

     “I truly am sorry. I’ll bring him back here when we’ve completed the Task. Then you can decide what to do. Maybe Blue would agree to come along.”

     “He’s not long for this world, the Night’s Herald.”

     “What makes you say that?”

     “He has no ties. I suspect that this ‘Task’ is the only thing that keeps him bound to this Plane.”

     “We shall see, I suppose.”

     “Meaning no disrespect, Miss Yukiiae. I suspect I’m only speaking through my own bitterness. I feel that I’ve just lost my brother. I did, in effect.”

     “It’s all right, Kieran. I understand. If I might give you some advice?”

     “Yes.”

     “Cherish the moments that he’s there. Adore him while he can see you and hear you. In the end, that’ll be all that matters.”

     “I’ll do my best.”

     “I know you will.”

     As Yukiiae took her leave from Kieran and walked from the office, her ears rang with the silent litany repeating in her mind. I’m sorry, Fumi.

     Alone, Kieran closed and locked the door to his office. The burden that had been placed on him weighed heavy on his heart. Would he be forced to suffer this all by himself? He wondered if he should call his parents.

     Half an hour later, Chieko was surprised to find the door to the office locked. She was even more taken aback by the sound of weeping on the other side.

     “There you are, Yukiiae. Kazu told me you wanted to talk to me. I looked but I couldn’t find you.”

     Harata was sitting alone in the living room, sharpening his sword. All of the inactivity didn’t sit well with the Clanless, who ached to be on the move. They’d be leaving the next day, and he was glad of it. Kieran had arranged, through the man who delivered necessities to the remote region, to have the Champions smuggled out by truck and deposited in a small city to the south. The truck driver was sympathetic to their cause. A small underground had arisen- across Clan lines. Believers in the Legend now had a secret network. The signals denoting “the Following” changed once a week, passed through codewords. There was still a chance of being infiltrated by the HeadHunters or the police, but the Following would do their best to see the Champions safely to their goal.

     Yukiiae sat down beside Harata, easing herself slowly onto the sofa.

     “Sorry. I had been looking for you, but Kieran wanted me. He finally asked about Takaeyama.”

     “How’d he take it?”

     “As best as can be expected. It’s a shock at first.”

     “I didn’t like hearing it myself, really.”

     Yukiiae was silent for a moment, looking at her lap. She didn’t look up as she said,

     “I wish he didn’t have to go through it. I used to have a sister. She was… like Takaeyama. Same problem. Her name was Fumi.”

     “What happened to her?”

     “One day she went catatonic and… just didn’t come back. I left Diasminion the day after she died.” Suddenly, Yukiiae looked flustered and blushed. “I’m sorry. That’s really not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

     “It’s alright, Yukiiae. What was it?”

     “More bad news, I’m afraid. Harata, we really have to hurry up.”

     “Why?”

     “It’s starting. I felt it, the other day- the planet shifting, things changing.” She shuddered and hugged herself. “I thought maybe I might have been imagining it, so I sent the birds to ask some other Decameron. They feel it, too. We don’t have that much time.”

     “How much is ‘not much’?” Harata looked hard at the Decameron.

     “I don’t know, but we’ve got to go as quickly as we can. Soon, the shift will become noticeable to more than just the Decameron.”

     “We’ll do the best we can. I wonder what the Guardians will tell us we have to do?”

     “That’s for them to know, I suppose. Sorry, Harata, it seems I’m no more than a bringer of bad tidings these days.”

     She rose to leave.

     “Don’t say that, Yukiiae. If it wasn’t for you, we wouldn’t even have been able to complete the Task at all. You’ve put in a tremendous effort.”

     Yukiiae shot him a smile before disappearing into another room. Harata’s mind turned to thoughts of his own sister. He knew by now that his mother would have been Taken, but he knew, he just knew that his sister was still alive. He vowed that when the Task was over, he’d make sure that she was never Taken. He would protect her.

     Kieran stood at the grill, watching the quail as it cooked over the hot coals. On either side stood Kazuki and Chieko, who’d been having a spirited debate over the merits of game versus livestock as foodstuffs.

     “Kieran, what’s the matter?” Chieko’s voice probed. “You’ve been all moody.”

     “Don’t trouble yourself, Miss Chi. Just a bit under the weather.”

     “Chieko,” Kazuki ventured, “Why dontcha go an talk to Yukiiae or sommat?”

     “Why?”

     “Uh… Kieran and I are gonna have boy talk.”

     “You what?” Chi giggled.

     “Chi…” There was a warning, parental tone in Kazuki’s voice.

     “Okay, okay, I’m going.”

     Chieko trudged off, clearly unhappy at being dismissed. Kazuki turned to Kieran.

     “I know I’m not all that smart and all, but feeling’s feeling, ya know? I know what’s goin on wit choo.”

     “Please, put it out of your mind. I assure you, it’s only a small trouble.” What the hell was Kazuki referring to, anyway? Surely not his feelings toward…

     “’S alright, Kieran. I know what you’re goin through. I got me a younger brother, too. In some state, lemme tell ya.”

     “Do you?”

     “Yeah. Raiken. He’s on the Roller Coaster, ya know? Poor kid dunno sunrise from sunset. I feel like it’s all my fault sometimes- workin’ so much after ma and dad died. Then Marii came along. Guess I didn’t pay enough attention. Now he’s all strung out. Like a different person sometimes. What I wouldn’t give to have that happy little kid back. But we gotta play the hand we’re dealt, yeah? I just gotta love ‘im for who he is, messed up or no. You got that too, now. You just gotta love the boy that’s there.”

     Kieran, surprised at Kazuki’s observation, said nothing at first. The Pantagruel seemed content to let him ruminate. Finally, Kieran broke the silence with a hesitant question.

     “Do you think your brother will ever change?”

     “Raiken? No way. I learned a long time ago that he’s gonna be who he is an’ I’m gonna be who I am. We just work it out between us.”

     “I see.”

     They fell silent, each thinking his own thoughts. Kieran probed the new relationship he’d have to forge with Takaeyama, knowing, but not quite accepting, that things would be forever changed. Kazuki thought of Raiken, far away in Kitaka’en, hoping he was all right. He thought of the burden he’d left to Marii, but had faith that she’d be up to it. A sudden flash of memory hit him, that time that Riku had ingested the contents of the bag Raiken kept next to his bed. Yukiiae had been there, in Kitaka’en. She’d rescued his dying son. At the time, he’d thought that terrible feeling he’d had in her presence was merely fear. Now, though he knew otherwise, he still believed that the pain he’d felt was made worse by his terror. However, Kazuki’s mind could not be pulled long by the past- his simple focus on the present took precedence. He set his gentle grey eyes on Kieran once more and smiled.

     “That little Chieko’s sommat else, huh? Advice from a happily married man to a not-so-happy bachelor: Don’t let the fish nibblin’ at your hook swim off downstream, ‘kay?”

     Kieran blushed a deep crimson.

     “Advice duly noted.”

     The time had come to leave the sanctuary of Kieran’s home. The truck waited outside in the pre-dawn hush. The Nine Champions and their Clanless leader lined up in the foyer to bid farewell to their host. Harata left first, giving a firm handshake and a quick word of thanks to Kieran. He was followed by Kat, who gave the Corduran both formal words and an informal embrace. Next came Ayame, who bowed deeply, but whose eyes were filled with both mirth and sorrow when she rose. After her came Kazuki, who patted Kieran heartily on the shoulder and said,

     “You’ll do alright.”

     Following came Mina and Keisuke, who both thanked him stiffly for his hospitality, the former more heartfelt. Yukiiae patted him softly on the arm and whispered comforts in his ear. Blue came next, his serene features warm as his promises to look after Takaeyama. The Corduran Champion came afterward, his goodbye long and protracted, though somewhat stiff and uncomfortable.

     Last in line was Chieko, whose eyes brimmed with tears, despite her best efforts not to cry.

     “Kieran, I- I wrote you a letter,” she informed him, thrusting the paper into his hands. For a moment she simply stood there, saying nothing and just looking up at him with her big, green eyes. “Can I come back again? Can I visit you?” She finally asked in desperation.

     “Miss Chi, for you my door is always open.”

     Kieran was shocked to find the GelbFaust in his arms.